Will You Be Using Anyone’s Name Today?

Relationships and Marriage

Think for a moment about how you would respond to the prompt, “I am….”? What came to mind first? If you are like most people, you likely thought about yourself in relation to others. Simply stated, we think of who we are by the roles and titles that define our relationships: “…a wife …a teacher …a father...” Most of us define who we are by the relationships we are in.

And yet, relationships are HARD. The majority of clients, couples, and families who come into our counseling practice are almost always struggling in one way or another with a relationship in their lives. Relationship counseling can provide a safe setting in which to unravel hurts from the past, learn healthier communication skills, and resolve conflict in ways that restore honor and respect in the relationship.

Marriage counseling is one of the cornerstones of our services here at Trinity. Whether you are planning to marry, newly wed, or have spent the better part of a lifetime together, our counselors are here to offer guidance to strengthen and empower you as a couple. If your marriage has simply hit a bump along the road, or you are wondering if you can stay in it even another minute; we can help.

Will You Be Using Anyone’s Name Today?

5/22/2023

by Sherrie Darnell, LLC, NCC

Sherrie Darnell is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Sherrie’s view of counseling is that it works best as a collaborative effort. She believes each person and situation is unique, and she works to facilitate her clients’ self-exploration to help them uncover the solutions that work for them and their unique strengths. She uses supported strategies and theories, combined with empathy and non-judgmental acceptance, to help you achieve your goals.

“What’s in a name?”, challenges Shakespeare’s Juliet. Since Romeo’s surname is the roadblock to their Renaissance romance, she’s arguing that a name is just a word and doesn’t have any real meaning. Nice try, Julie, but… no dice.

We could philosophize about this, and certainly Romeo was the heartthrob he was, no matter what was on the back of his jousting jersey. But we know names become imbued with meaning. Importantly, our own first name has special meaning to us. Whatever name we go by as we journey through this life; it represents us intimately.

So, we notice how others use our name. We noticed if our dad never bothered to use it or if our mom used it only in exasperation. We noticed if other kids turned our name into a taunt to make fun of us. We notice if people pronounce it correctly, if they spell it right, and if they remember it. We notice if someone takes undesired liberties and uses a shortened version or nickname.

Part of relating to people, and especially those closest to us, is being thoughtful about how we handle their name. Are we cherishing our teen’s name because we know it represents them as a person? Are we treating our husband or wife’s name as precious, knowing their ears are acutely attuned to how it sounds when we say it? Do we more often say our loved ones’ names cheerfully and playfully or with sternness or snark? Are we sometimes using their name as a weapon?

Sure, names serve a practical purpose. How else would we be able to tell Juliet it’s time to stop texting Romeo and go to bed? And certainly, some people are more sensitive than others to how their name is used. But, in general, we will better convey that we value someone if we value their name and how we use it. Will you be using anyone’s name today?