TRINITY FAMILY COUNSELING CENTER
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Relationships and Marriage

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Think for a moment about how you would respond to the prompt, “I am….”? What came to mind first? If you are like most people, you likely thought about yourself in relation to others. Simply stated, we think of who we are by the roles and titles that define our relationships: “…a wife …a teacher …a father...” Most of us define who we are by the relationships we are in.
 
And yet, relationships are HARD. The majority of clients, couples, and families who come into our counseling practice are almost always struggling in one way or another with a relationship in their lives. Relationship counseling can provide a safe setting in which to unravel hurts from the past, learn healthier communication skills, and resolve conflict in ways that restore honor and respect in the relationship.
 
Marriage counseling is one of the cornerstones of our services here at Trinity. Whether you are planning to marry, newly wed, or have spent the better part of a lifetime together, our counselors are here to offer guidance to strengthen and empower you as a couple. If your marriage has simply hit a bump along the road, or you are wondering if you can stay in it even another minute; we can help.

Counseling Insights and Articles About Relationships & Marriage:

Reconcile the Hurt Through God, Humility, Communication and Therapy, by Wendy Warner
The Devastating Impact of Porn, by Wendy Warner
Will I Ever be OK After this Breakup?, by Sherrie Darnell
Conflict Communication: Word Choice Matters, by Wendy Warner
Is Your Relationship Difficult or Destructive?  How to Determine the Best Option for Counseling, by Shelley Kruszewski
"Yeah, but...", by Wendy Warner
God’s Good Gift of Sex: What Has Gone Wrong? A Christian Perspective, by Deb Toering
Communicate in the Present, not from the Past, by Wendy Warner
Key Ingredients to Successful Couples Counseling, by Wendy Warner
Will You Be Using Anyone’s Name Today?, by Sherrie Darnell
Let’s Be Nicer to Each Other. You Go First., by Wendy Warner
Validation: Show People You "Get Them", by Sherrie Darnell
You Could Have a Romantic Valentine’s Day, by Wendy Warner
Five Helpful Steps To Managing Conflict, by Dave Papandrea
On Dating Apps, Math, and Finding Love, by Liza Hinchey
Tips For Managing Your Relationship's Perpetual Issues, by Dave Papandrea
Are Your Relationships Well Watered Or Wilting?, by Wendy Warner
Communication For Successful Relationships, Dave Papandrea
A Lapse In Relational Logic, by Sherrie Darnell
Honesty In Relationships, by Wendy Warner
The Best Valentine’s Day Gift Ever, by Deb Toering
More Than Words, by Dave Papandrea
Use of ‘Time Out’ in Couple Relationships, by Tonya Ratliff
Humble Listening = Productive Communication, by Wendy Warner
Be Careful Your Marriage Doesn't Fall Prey To Infidelity, by Wendy Warner
Five Possible Reasons To Seek Marital Help, by Wendy Warner
Acceptance Versus Comparison, by Wendy Warner
Staying Connected To Your Spouse... Even When You're Stressed [VIDEO], by Wendy Warner
The Healing Power of Listening, Deb Toering
​Encouraging Words for Disappointed Brides and Grooms, by Wendy Warner
Will Our Marriage Ever Be Back To Normal?, by Deb Toering
Maybe Tonight Dear, Because I Love You, by Wendy Warner
Unforgiveness In Marriage, by Deb Toering
Boundaries: Your Emotional Property Lines, by Tonya Ratliff
V-A-L-I-D-A-T-E, by Wendy Warner
A Healthy Plan For Every Marriage, by Wendy Warner
Family Of Origin: We Don't Get To Choose, by Tonya Ratliff
Planning A Marriage Is More Important Than Planning A Wedding, by Wendy Warner
Are You Clothed In Kindness?, by Wendy Warner
​Conflict Is So Hard At Times!, by Wendy Warner
Happy Day After Valentine’s Day, by Wendy Warner
The Thieves Who Silence Us, by Deb Toering
Is It Really Just A Friendly Conversation?, by Wendy Warner
The Havoc of ADHD in Marriage, by Deb Toering
Social Media Can Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health, by Deb Toering
Can I Trust You?, by Wendy Warner
Do You Understand Me? Do You Care About Me?, by Wendy Warner
Lost in Translation: How a Fight With Your Spouse Blocks the Real Message, by Wendy Warner
That Really Hurt…, by Deb Toering
​When Is the Right Time to Call a Couples Counselor?, by Wendy Warner
Is There Hope After an Affair?, by Deb Toering
Please! NO Assumptions!, by Deb Toering
Do You Pursue or Withdraw When in Conflict?, by Wendy Warner
The Value of a Shared History, by Tonya Ratliff
Please Listen to Me, Don’t Dismiss Me, by Wendy Warner
Help! My Spouse Has ADHD!!, by Deb Toering
The Power of Our Words, by Tonya Ratliff
Is Your Marriage Vulnerable to An Intruder?, by Wendy Warner
I Now Pronounce You Man and Wife, by Wendy Warner
Just One Thing Can Change Everything, by Deb Toering
Feeling Disrespected in a Relationship?, by Wendy Warner
“Good Things Come to Those Who Wait”, by Wendy Warner
Is Anyone Listening?, by Deb Toering
The Power of “I”, by Tonya Ratliff
Staying Close in Spite of Conflict, by Wendy Warner
Getting Help When Your Marriage is No Longer a Fairy Tale, by Wendy Warner
Words That Breathe Life, by Deb Toering
The Beauty of a Walk, by Wendy Warner
Love, Honor and Cherish… Today, by Wendy Warner
The Speck that Infects a Relationship, by Deb Toering
Patience and Respect are Key to Relationships, by Wendy Warner
Spring Cleaning, by Tonya Ratliff
The Secret to Staying Connected to Your Spouse, by Wendy Warner
Family Holidays: Havoc or Harmony?, by Wendy Warner
Satisfied Couples Do Conflict Differently, by Wendy Warner
PREMARITAL COUNSELING: The Art of Learning How to Live With and Love Each Other, by Deb Toering

V-A-L-I-D-A-T-E

4/22/2019

 
by Wendy Warner, LPC
A relationship counselor at Trinity Family Counseling can help you learn to validate each other's perspective and truly listen to what you are each saying.
Wendy Warner is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with couples, children, and individuals, Wendy also enjoys teaching the premarital classes for all couples planning to marry at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Macomb.
Almost everyone has heard of the hit song by Aretha Franklin, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It definitely makes for a catchier title and tune, but in many ways V-A-L-I-D-A-T-E is the unsung hero of great communication.
 
Validate is defined as “supporting the truth or value of”. When we share our feelings with a loved one, we long to know they support the truth of our perspective and value our feelings. The art of skilled listening is to be able to reflect back to someone their thoughts and feelings.
 
When two people argue over differing perspectives, they have a choice in how to proceed. They can dig in and continue to offer every point that supports their position. Or they can choose to truly listen to what the other person is saying and feeling and let them know their position has worth. This doesn’t mean they agree with it; it means they have paused their position long enough to really hear and understand the other person. It means they have not dismissed the other person as unreasonable or invalid.
 
The next step after you validate your partner’s perspective is to offer empathy. When you can put yourself in their position and attempt to experience their feelings on the matter, you are saying your feelings matter to me. “It sounds like you were hurt by my comments, and I can see how you would feel that way.” This involves choosing to listen and working to convey understanding to another. It can lead to beautiful harmony.

A relationship counselor at Trinity Family Counseling can help you learn to validate each other's perspective and truly listen to what you are each saying.


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  • Home
  • Areas of Specialization
    • The Counseling Process
    • Christian Counseling
    • Anxiety and Depression
    • Self-Care
    • Relationships and Marriage
    • Grief and Loss
    • Family Counseling
    • Divorce
    • Remarriage and Blended Families
    • Parenting Counseling
    • Children and Adolescents Counseling
    • ADHD Counseling
    • Counseling for First Responders
    • Grief Group - Free to the Community
  • Our Counselors
    • Tonya Ratliff
    • Deb Toering
    • Wendy Warner
    • Liza Hinchey
    • Dave Papandrea
    • Sherrie Darnell
    • Shelley Kruszewski
    • Brian Perry
  • Fees for Services
  • LLC Supervision