TRINITY FAMILY COUNSELING CENTER
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Relationships and Marriage

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Think for a moment about how you would respond to the prompt, “I am….”? What came to mind first? If you are like most people, you likely thought about yourself in relation to others. Simply stated, we think of who we are by the roles and titles that define our relationships: “…a wife …a teacher …a father...” Most of us define who we are by the relationships we are in.
 
And yet, relationships are HARD. The majority of clients, couples, and families who come into our counseling practice are almost always struggling in one way or another with a relationship in their lives. Relationship counseling can provide a safe setting in which to unravel hurts from the past, learn healthier communication skills, and resolve conflict in ways that restore honor and respect in the relationship.
 
Marriage counseling is one of the cornerstones of our services here at Trinity. Whether you are planning to marry, newly wed, or have spent the better part of a lifetime together, our counselors are here to offer guidance to strengthen and empower you as a couple. If your marriage has simply hit a bump along the road, or you are wondering if you can stay in it even another minute; we can help.

Counseling Insights and Articles About Relationships & Marriage:

Reconcile the Hurt Through God, Humility, Communication and Therapy, by Wendy Warner
The Devastating Impact of Porn, by Wendy Warner
Will I Ever be OK After this Breakup?, by Sherrie Darnell
Conflict Communication: Word Choice Matters, by Wendy Warner
Is Your Relationship Difficult or Destructive?  How to Determine the Best Option for Counseling, by Shelley Kruszewski
"Yeah, but...", by Wendy Warner
God’s Good Gift of Sex: What Has Gone Wrong? A Christian Perspective, by Deb Toering
Communicate in the Present, not from the Past, by Wendy Warner
Key Ingredients to Successful Couples Counseling, by Wendy Warner
Will You Be Using Anyone’s Name Today?, by Sherrie Darnell
Let’s Be Nicer to Each Other. You Go First., by Wendy Warner
Validation: Show People You "Get Them", by Sherrie Darnell
You Could Have a Romantic Valentine’s Day, by Wendy Warner
Five Helpful Steps To Managing Conflict, by Dave Papandrea
On Dating Apps, Math, and Finding Love, by Liza Hinchey
Tips For Managing Your Relationship's Perpetual Issues, by Dave Papandrea
Are Your Relationships Well Watered Or Wilting?, by Wendy Warner
Communication For Successful Relationships, Dave Papandrea
A Lapse In Relational Logic, by Sherrie Darnell
Honesty In Relationships, by Wendy Warner
The Best Valentine’s Day Gift Ever, by Deb Toering
More Than Words, by Dave Papandrea
Use of ‘Time Out’ in Couple Relationships, by Tonya Ratliff
Humble Listening = Productive Communication, by Wendy Warner
Be Careful Your Marriage Doesn't Fall Prey To Infidelity, by Wendy Warner
Five Possible Reasons To Seek Marital Help, by Wendy Warner
Acceptance Versus Comparison, by Wendy Warner
Staying Connected To Your Spouse... Even When You're Stressed [VIDEO], by Wendy Warner
The Healing Power of Listening, Deb Toering
​Encouraging Words for Disappointed Brides and Grooms, by Wendy Warner
Will Our Marriage Ever Be Back To Normal?, by Deb Toering
Maybe Tonight Dear, Because I Love You, by Wendy Warner
Unforgiveness In Marriage, by Deb Toering
Boundaries: Your Emotional Property Lines, by Tonya Ratliff
V-A-L-I-D-A-T-E, by Wendy Warner
A Healthy Plan For Every Marriage, by Wendy Warner
Family Of Origin: We Don't Get To Choose, by Tonya Ratliff
Planning A Marriage Is More Important Than Planning A Wedding, by Wendy Warner
Are You Clothed In Kindness?, by Wendy Warner
​Conflict Is So Hard At Times!, by Wendy Warner
Happy Day After Valentine’s Day, by Wendy Warner
The Thieves Who Silence Us, by Deb Toering
Is It Really Just A Friendly Conversation?, by Wendy Warner
The Havoc of ADHD in Marriage, by Deb Toering
Social Media Can Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health, by Deb Toering
Can I Trust You?, by Wendy Warner
Do You Understand Me? Do You Care About Me?, by Wendy Warner
Lost in Translation: How a Fight With Your Spouse Blocks the Real Message, by Wendy Warner
That Really Hurt…, by Deb Toering
​When Is the Right Time to Call a Couples Counselor?, by Wendy Warner
Is There Hope After an Affair?, by Deb Toering
Please! NO Assumptions!, by Deb Toering
Do You Pursue or Withdraw When in Conflict?, by Wendy Warner
The Value of a Shared History, by Tonya Ratliff
Please Listen to Me, Don’t Dismiss Me, by Wendy Warner
Help! My Spouse Has ADHD!!, by Deb Toering
The Power of Our Words, by Tonya Ratliff
Is Your Marriage Vulnerable to An Intruder?, by Wendy Warner
I Now Pronounce You Man and Wife, by Wendy Warner
Just One Thing Can Change Everything, by Deb Toering
Feeling Disrespected in a Relationship?, by Wendy Warner
“Good Things Come to Those Who Wait”, by Wendy Warner
Is Anyone Listening?, by Deb Toering
The Power of “I”, by Tonya Ratliff
Staying Close in Spite of Conflict, by Wendy Warner
Getting Help When Your Marriage is No Longer a Fairy Tale, by Wendy Warner
Words That Breathe Life, by Deb Toering
The Beauty of a Walk, by Wendy Warner
Love, Honor and Cherish… Today, by Wendy Warner
The Speck that Infects a Relationship, by Deb Toering
Patience and Respect are Key to Relationships, by Wendy Warner
Spring Cleaning, by Tonya Ratliff
The Secret to Staying Connected to Your Spouse, by Wendy Warner
Family Holidays: Havoc or Harmony?, by Wendy Warner
Satisfied Couples Do Conflict Differently, by Wendy Warner
PREMARITAL COUNSELING: The Art of Learning How to Live With and Love Each Other, by Deb Toering

Honesty in Relationships

4/4/2022

 
​by Wendy Warner, LPC
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Wendy Warner is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with couples, children, and individuals, Wendy also enjoys teaching the premarital classes for all couples planning to marry at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Macomb.

For those old enough to remember the shows, “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “The King of Queens” you probably got some good laughs watching them. They were my favorite shows in their day. However, over time, I realized the general source of humor came from the husband doing something ill-advised, and then he either lied about it or exerted a ridiculous effort to try and hide it from his wife. While it made for good sitcoms, it will not make for a good marriage.
 
Some people view honesty on a spectrum. There are little white lies to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, the lie of omission when you withhold information intentionally and outright lies.
 
Little white lies are actually more dangerous than they appear, because a person becomes comfortable fudging on the truth when it’s convenient for them. It is also the kind of dishonesty parents are likely to practice in front of their children. So, kids learn it’s okay to tell little white lies about their age because mom and dad save some money on admission to the waterpark. Or a spouse may overhear a lie given to a boss to get out of work and wonder when their spouse is lying to them. Generally, they are not harmless and lead to problems and a lack of trust down the road.
 
When partners withhold information to spare the couple a fight, it is bound to surface eventually. It could be accumulating debt, problems at work, or even career plans made without consulting the other. Most people are angrier to find out that they have been actively left out of the loop on important information than they would have been if they heard about it from the beginning.
 
Outright lies are less frequent because they are so obviously damaging to a relationship. And yet they occur about spending, what spouses do with their buddies, how much alcohol was consumed, etc. 
 
The bottom line is trust. And when you violate someone’s trust, there really isn’t a spectrum to it. When you tell little lies, it leads to bigger lies. If your partner can’t trust you on the small stuff, how will they trust you on the really big stuff? Honesty is critical to emotional safety in a relationship. Do you have a reputation as being truthful? Reliable? Good on your word? What would your partner say?


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Copyright © 2025 Trinity Family Counseling LLC
  • Home
  • Areas of Specialization
    • The Counseling Process
    • Christian Counseling
    • Anxiety and Depression
    • Self-Care
    • Relationships and Marriage
    • Grief and Loss
    • Family Counseling
    • Divorce
    • Remarriage and Blended Families
    • Parenting Counseling
    • Children and Adolescents Counseling
    • ADHD Counseling
    • Counseling for First Responders
    • Grief Group - Free to the Community
  • Our Counselors
    • Tonya Ratliff
    • Deb Toering
    • Wendy Warner
    • Liza Hinchey
    • Dave Papandrea
    • Sherrie Darnell
    • Shelley Kruszewski
    • Brian Perry
  • Fees for Services
  • LLC Supervision