by Dave Papandrea, LLC, NCC

Dave Papandrea is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Dave’s personal counseling philosophy is that he is a traveler on YOUR journey.  He believes YOU are the expert of you, and that the power of change is already within you.  It is his goal to walk with you on your journey to wellness, allowing you to lead at your own pace, hoping to point out items in your blind spots along the way.

Frequently, as a mental health counselor, I encounter clients who describe lack of movement in their lives.  They have a high degree of difficulty putting a finger on what the actual problem is, but they know that something is amiss.  
 
Upon closer examination, clients are able to connect that they had something different in mind for their lives which they have not achieved.  It varies depending on their stage of life, but a young adult in their early 20’s may believe they should have been with their life partner or achieved their dream career.  Clients in later stages of their life may have assumed they would have been retired and traveling.  These desires may differ from the lived reality, and it may be exacerbated by the use of social media.  
 
Social media platforms offer individuals the opportunity to develop the highlight reel of their lives.  From personal accomplishments, to weddings, children, grandchildren, and world traveling, we often see the lives of others through a certain type of lens.  These lenses are often constructed to be an image of what that person wants to portray to the global online community.  
 
There are things that you cannot see through these manufactured lenses, like the marital strife that still affects large numbers of households.  Health problems and extended family turmoil lie outside of the view from the lenses as well.  Professional discontentment, maltreatment, and underemployment are also not in view through the lenses of an individual's social media account.  Still, our perception may be that we are on an island of our own problems because everyone else lives the life of a rock star… or so says social media.
 
While social media has rapidly and radically changed how we are able to connect and stay connected, it is a fair question to ask, “at what price?”  Many couples who have sought counseling have cited the use of the internet as a compounding issue related to their presenting issues.  We have known about the harms and realities of internet addiction for some time now.  The internet has compounded pornography addictions exponentially, by proliferating videos and images to our sides anywhere and at any time.  Experts in Michigan are now awaiting the fallout from recent legislation that legalizes two highly addictive activities; gambling and the internet.  These combinations of highly addictive activities that are readily available have served to complicate recovery efforts for addicts.  People recovering from drug or alcohol addictions eventually have to make the conscious decision to leave their home to find their substance.  People with addictions to the internet, and all of the co-occurring addictive applications, cannot escape it.  
 
Having an awareness and setting rigid boundaries related to internet use is paramount in the fight against developing an unhealthy relationship with it.  Establish firm times to shut devices off in the evening and appropriate times for devices to start back up in the morning.  Do not allow devices in the bedroom, and utilize “Do Not Disturb” features.  Refuse to allow devices to infiltrate quality family times like meals or outings.  Limit the number of social media you subscribe to.  Do not teach your child to self soothe with your device no matter what the circumstances.  Better a screaming child at dinner than an addicted adult.
 
Technology offers amazing capabilities that many of us only dreamed of.  A once overloaded parent with a video camera, still camera, and brick sized cell phone now has a new lease on a healthy back, as all three are combined to the size of a deck of cards.  It’s how we play the cards that matter.  Kenny Rogers was ahead of his time when he wrote “The Gambler.”  You really do need to know when to hold’em, and know when to fold’em.  That song about limits was as true when it was written as it is today.  Maybe the stakes are higher now than ever before?

by Shelley Kruszewski, Counseling Intern

Shelley Kruszewski is the newest member of the Trinity Family Counseling Center team.  She has completed all coursework required of her Master’s Degree in Counseling from Oakland University, and is scheduled to graduate in the Spring of 2023. Her work at Trinity is under the direct supervision of Tonya Ratliff, LPC, ACS.  In addition to her individual case load at Trinity, Shelley also serves as a co-facilitator of the Walk With Me® Grief Support Group.

Healthy work engagement tends to bring satisfaction and purpose to one’s life.  In fact, a working society admires those that put in the long hours and are seen as productive.  However, when time spent on the job starts creeping into other areas of life, such as with relationships and health issues, it may be time to take a closer look at why one has become so absorbed with work.
 
Working to Live can be described as Work Engagement. These are people that find their work pleasurable, because there is meaning in the job.  The job is part of who they are.  These types of workers tend to have positive emotions at both work and home, which includes being happy, self-assured, and attentive.
 
Living to Work can be described as Workaholism. These are people that have compulsion to do so, because they feel they should always be working.  The job is who they are.  These types of workers tend to have negative emotions at both work and home, which includes being disappointed, irritable, and tense.
 
Decades of research data confirms that those who display signs of workaholism suffer negative long-term effects, including an actual reduction of productivity at work! There is also a strong correlation that personality traits, such as being a perfectionist or having compulsive behaviors, can play a role in even poorer outcomes.
 
Malissa A. Clark PhD, researcher and director of the Work and Family Experience Research Lab at the University of Georgia, describes a workaholic as having these traits:
 

• Feeling compelled to work because of internal pressures
• Having persistent thoughts about work when not working
• Working beyond what is reasonably expected of the worker (as established by the requirements of the job or basic economic needs) despite the potential for negative consequences (e.g., marital issues)

 
Remember, a good work ethic is beneficial to a healthy mindset.  However, if you gravitate towards more negative patterns, a counselor can help process your specific situation. Together, you can determine what impact your work life is having towards your total well-being, and focus on strategies for a renewed balance in life!

by Liza Hinchey, LPC, NCC

Self-compassion - or the process of turning compassion inwards toward ourselves - is a powerful practice that’s been repeatedly shown to lead to better overall mental health. Often, we talk about the gentler sides of self-compassion: the ability to validate our own emotions, tell ourselves it’s okay to feel what we’re feeling, prioritize our self-care, etc. This practice of gentleness is essential to our psychological well-being; however, that’s not all there is to being truly compassionate towards ourselves.
 
Dr. Kristin Neff, an academic researcher and author, has a valuable take on self-compassion: it requires both a gentle, nurturing practice, and what she has coined “fierce self-compassion” (Neff, 2021).  While the tender side of self-compassion typically involves how we respond to ourselves inwardly, fierce self-compassion refers to how we take outward actions to take care of ourselves. Without this side of the coin, we can’t access the full benefits of this powerful practice. Fierce self-compassion can look like setting boundaries with others; taking action to provide for or protect ourselves and our health; saying “yes” to our wants and needs and “no” to what doesn’t feel right for us. A big one - often especially relevant for women because of the way we’re socialized, but just as emotionally crucial for men - is learning that it’s okay to actively say "yes" to our feelings and needs, rather than prioritizing the needs of others ahead of our own.
 
Similar to how parents can offer both gentle, emotional support to their children, as well as advocate outwardly for their needs, protection, and best interests, we can learn to “parent” ourselves in this way. A great way to get started on any form of self-compassion practice is to ask yourself: if I were responsible for a child going through what I’m going through right now, what might I do to comfort them? And, how might I take action to protect their well-being?
 
 
Neff, K. (2021). Fierce self-compassion: How women can harness kindness to speak up, claim their power, and thrive. Penguin UK.

by Dave Papandrea, LLC, NCC

Dave Papandrea is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Dave’s personal counseling philosophy is that he is a traveler on YOUR journey.  He believes YOU are the expert of you, and that the power of change is already within you.  It is his goal to walk with you on your journey to wellness, allowing you to lead at your own pace, hoping to point out items in your blind spots along the way.

Firefighters are developing awareness about the toxins that raise our risk of developing cancer. I never thought I would see the day where we did not gear up before leaving the firehouse for a fire, but clean cab initiatives are in place to keep these toxins out of the passenger compartment of apparatus. Some departments are monitoring for Hydrogen Cyanide post fire, and members are wearing masks during overhaul, aware that off gassing is raising the cancer threat level. Charcoal soap is becoming more prevalent in showers to aid in the detox process after incidents. There is even a video circulating of a European firefighter that doffs his gear right down to his shorts, on scene, like a HazMat decon.
 
Equally as toxic to our bodies are the traumatic scenes that play out daily throughout our career. The average American will see four or five traumatic incidents in a lifetime. Firefighters working in busier communities could see that in a bad shift. Here are five practical steps that firefighters can take to build resilience and defend themselves against Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 2023.
 

1.  Establish Relationships: Firefighters need the ability to unload trauma and we cannot always bring the subject or material into our living rooms. We acknowledge that exclusively unpacking our experiences with our spouses and partners is not practical or healthy for the relationship. Having that person, or group, who we can call after a traumatic incident is valuable. Have an agreement in place including a verbal cue that signals to others you need to process what you just experienced. 
2. Keep a Counselor on Speed Dial: Of vital importance is having and maintaining a relationship with a counselor that speaks “fireman.” Counselors are a lot like boots. Some fit great and we keep them. Others are uncomfortable and we need to shelf them. But we need a good pair of fire boots to survive this job, similar to needing a good counselor who understands us. Entering a crisis is the wrong time to look for a counselor hoping to find a good fit. The American mental health care system is insufficient, and it may be common to find waitlists for counselors. The International Association of Firefighters Center of Excellence can help with vetted lists, as may state unions. 
3. Practice Meditation and Yoga: I have studied and found there are two effective interventions for managing job related stress and trauma. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has great efficacy for PTSD. Building a practice based on Eastern philosophies of meditation and movement is the other one. EMDR requires a specialized counselor whereas Yoga and meditation practices need only you and a quiet space. Recently, mindfulness meditation went head-to-head in a study with popular anxiolytics (anti-anxiety medication), and was shown to be as effective or more. Disciplines like Yoga and Tai Chi help us to connect to our bodies which may be difficult after years of trauma and job stress. I hear the groans from here. I know we all have ADHD which is why we can’t sit still, hence the reason we entered the fire service in the first place. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a marathon begins with one mile. Try ten minutes of meditation per day, and see what happens after a month. There are great resources on YouTube to get you started. Search “mindfulness meditation” and see where it takes you. 
4. Exercise: We all know the associated physical health benefits of exercise, but did you know daily exercise helps to build mental resilience as well? The good news is you don’t have to be a CrossFit athlete or powerlifter to enjoy the mental health benefits. Brisk walking has been shown in studies to help reduce stress and anxiety. Grab your truck radio and set up a course around quarters. Consider taking the entire company to a serene location in your first due and walk in the view of the public. Even a course inside of the station can serve as a track for brisk walking. Just get up and establish a daily routine, and notice the reduction in stress with a side of cardiovascular improvement. 
5. Tend Your Garden: It would be reasonable to think that if your personal life was stressful, it would complicate traumatic stress experienced on the job. The cumulative nature of stress across all areas of life is a threat. Working to manage the amount of stress you experience away from the job will provide a resilient layer against PTSD. Work to iron out marital conflicts and maintain healthy relationships. Many firefighters work copious amounts of overtime and / or second jobs. Create a healthy work-life balance and establish intentional and regularly scheduled recreational periods everyday. 
6. Know Your Enemy: Every year I receive OSHA mandated Communicable Disease Training despite never having met anyone in the fire service who has had a disease communicated to them on the job. Perhaps this proves the effectiveness of the annual training. If our departments will not mandate healthy awareness of the fastest growing threat to our brothers and sisters, we must take the time to study and understand the subject. Understanding the signs and symptoms of acute stress and post-traumatic stress are as valuable as recognizing the signs of flashover. If we don’t have a healthy awareness, both could really burn us in the end. Understanding the signs of PTSD keeps us safe and keeps our brothers and sisters safe as well.

 
During the course of a career in the fire service, members will experience traumatic events. We should begin training our members on how to protect against PTSD the day we hand out the helmets and boots in the academy. With under reporting of suicide by fire service members, it stands to argue we lose way more firefighters to suicide than flashovers. If we spend an hour in a flashover simulator, how much time do you think we should spend understanding PTSD and building resilience?

by Tonya Ratliff, LPC, NCC, ACS

Tonya Ratliff is the Owner and Director of Counseling Services for Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to her individual, couple, and family clients, Tonya is also the lead facilitator of the Walk With Me® Grief Support Group, an aftercare program sponsored by Wm. Sullivan and Son Funeral Home in Utica, MI.

Here we are again… It really does seem as though time is moving more quickly these days, doesn’t it? As I pulled out the Christmas ornaments and decorations this year, it seemed like such a short time since I had last packed them away. And, how many times have I heard others around me say, “I can’t believe it’s Christmas again already!”
 
Everything feels fast. Busy days of work, childrearing, home management, and the logistics of organizing and planning consume the majority of our days throughout the year. Even the time for finally just sitting at the end of a long week, or connecting socially with family or friends requires intricate management - or a concession to just ‘let it slide’ because there just isn’t time.
 
How do we slow down then, at the end of a big day, or week, or year, and cherish the small moments? I have thought about this a lot this year - not only in my professional role as a counselor to others - but also in my own life. I came up with a few ideas that I’d like to share.  
 
1)     Simply do less.
 
This sounds so, well, simple, right?! But it’s not. It takes a great deal of courage and commitment to say no to perceived obligations, and risk disappointing others who rely on us for so much. Just like many others, I struggle with feelings of letting others down, or - even worse - asking for help with something! But I can assure you that once you let go of something that you thought was “required” of you, you will experience the most blissful feeling of relief! AND, you’ll recognize that maybe it wasn’t a “requirement” after all!
 
A few examples….

• Planning and cooking everything yourself vs asking others to bring a dish
• Wrapping every single gift vs using gift bags [added bonus: saves needing to find a box for every odd item, and having to purchase reams of wrapping paper and bows!]
• Attending every event and perceived commitment vs selectively choosing where you’d like to be

 
2)     Be intentional about the people with whom you want to spend your time.
 
Throughout our busy days, we often have no choice but to spend time with challenging people, i.e. maybe our boss, perhaps co-workers, customers, patients, and the list goes on. So, when we have the opportunity to choose with whom to spend our time during the holidays - we should choose folks who we enjoy, who make us laugh, and who support us in some important way. A good friend once said to me that “…life is too short to spend time with people you don’t enjoy…” She was so right. Make a point to choose who you spend your precious available time with this Christmas season.
 
3)     Engage in mindfulness.
 
Such a ‘buzz word’ these days… but what exactly is mindfulness? Mindfulness is best defined by living in the present moment. Essentially, it means being (intentionally) more aware and awake to each moment and being fully engaged in what is happening in one's surroundings - with acceptance and without judgment.
 
So, that means trying to always be aware of where your mind is focused as you participate in the moments of your own life! It means not allowing yourself to feel distracted by something that has occurred in your past, or preoccupied with something that may lie ahead in your future—the next hour, the next day, or the next event.
 
A few examples…

• Listen to the message from the pulpit, instead of making mental additions to your grocery trip later in the day.
• Allow yourself to enjoy music or a mediation in order to fall asleep, rather than reviewing tomorrow’s ‘to do’ list.
• Basically, think: “Stop and smell the roses…” or the cookies in the oven… or the pine scent of the Christmas tree…
• Notice the snowfall…
• Listen to the lyrics of the Christmas carols being sung…
• Open gifts one at a time to enjoy each person’s experience of delight…
• Smile when you hear a baby giggle, and keep it going with your own smiles and giggles…
• Go outside with your dog and laugh as he romps through the snow…
• Sit and take in the beauty of a sunset...
• Eat slowly and savor a delicious sweet treat…

 
You get the idea.
 
Now back to the issue of busyness… A mindfulness practice will not actually slow down time, but it can offer the opportunity to find greater joy in the individual moments we experience every day. After all, all we really have are single moments continuously connected to one another. Finding ways to make those moments more joyful at Christmas might actually give us a feeling of slowing down - if only a little bit.
 
As we make our way through these last few days of 2022, consider finding some Christmas joy for yourself. Maybe you simply do less, maybe you will try being more intentional about the people with whom you want to spend your time. And maybe, you’ll attempt to exercise a state of mindfulness throughout the holiday. Whatever your effort, please remember that joy found, experienced, and shared is the greatest gift any of us could ask for this Christmas season.

by Sherrie Darnell, LLC, NCC

Sherrie Darnell is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Sherrie’s view of counseling is that it works best as a collaborative effort. She believes each person and situation is unique, and she works to facilitate her clients’ self-exploration to help them uncover the solutions that work for them and their unique strengths. She uses supported strategies and theories, combined with empathy and non-judgmental acceptance, to help you achieve your goals.

If mindfulness sounds… well… nebulous, you’re not alone in thinking that. The concept – basically, paying attention to the present moment in a non-judgmental way – can have a hazy, cloudy feel.
 
But the benefits of mindfulness are clear. Research has consistently shown a positive relationship between mindfulness and psychological health.  Things like less stress, more joy, greater focus and improved sleep. In addition, evidence supports our ability to develop this trait.
 
But even if we have a sense of what it means and we know it’s good for us, figuring out how to cultivate it in ourselves and reap the benefits is another story.
 
Enter a little book I came across recently, The Mindful Twenty-Something: Life Skills to Handle Stress…& Everything Else, by Holly B. Rogers, MD. (Don’t stop reading if you’re over 29; the content is universal.) A college student told me this book was assigned reading in one of their freshman courses at Michigan State University. Intrigued, since I encourage clients to incorporate mindful practices and want to know the best resources, I gave it a read.
 
Rogers, a psychiatrist at Duke University who developed a mindfulness program for young adults now taught internationally, states the book’s goal this way:
 
“This book is designed to nudge you into trying mindfulness. In my experience, bridging the gap between understanding that mindfulness is a helpful skill and actually practicing it in a meaningful way is the trickiest part. The Mindful Twenty-Something is about helping you across that gap, taking you from a solid understanding of mindfulness and its benefits to a regular practice that produces positive change for you.”
 
Her easy-going plan encourages 10 minutes a day of meditative practice, jotting down things you’re grateful for, and being mindful during routine activities. She guides the reader through key mindfulness skills, such as “Breath Awareness” and “Labeling Feelings Meditation.” By the last chapter, you will have developed 10 skills and incorporated more mindfulness into your life. Bonus, at under 200 pages with a larger font amidst ample white space, it’s a peaceful read.
 
My clients are giving positive feedback on this guide, but there are a plethora of great mindfulness tools to bridge the gap from concept to practice – other books, apps, podcasts, classes. I encourage you to find one that appeals to you and see if mindfulness may benefit you personally.

by Deb Toering, LPC, NCC, BCPCC

Deb Toering is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (BCPCC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with a wide range of client populations and presenting issues, Deb is also an engaging public speaker. She has spoken in front of various groups across a range of topics including marriage, bullying, ADHD/ADD, and teen leadership.

For some of you, you have spent years raising your kids with the goal of them becoming mature, responsible and independent adults. You may have recently had your last child leave the nest and now it feels quiet, lonely and empty. Your husband may be happy because now he has you all to himself. But for you, this is a new normal that does not feel normal. It is too quiet. You are left alone with more time on your hands; not sure how to fill it or how to find your new purpose.
 
In the realm of nature, a nest is a structure or place made or chosen by a bird for laying eggs and sheltering its young. For us, our nest is not only our homes that we have made, but our lives, our circle of influence, our purpose.
 
Could there be a new purpose for your nest? Could it become more of a haven for your marriage; a safe place where you and your spouse can come home to and feel loved? Could it be a place where neighbors, friends and family come to feel welcomed, valued and loved? Those extra bedrooms can be transformed into guest rooms, a workout space, hobby room, or even rooms for visiting grandchildren if you are so blessed to have them.
 
Take advantage of the quiet to reflect on this next phase of life. Time for reading, hobbies, new interests, cultivation of new friendships, perhaps a new career or more time to focus on the career you have.
 
Take some time to grieve if that is what you feel. Reflect on what was; what you loved, what was difficult, what you wish you could have done differently. Maybe there is a strained relationship with an adult child that needs attention and healing. Now is the time to make those relationships right. Now is the time to stop beating yourself up for mistakes you may have made. Recognize that you did the best you knew how at the time.
 
After a time of reflection, it is time to begin this new and exciting phase of life. Try something new. You might like it! You might find that your nest is filling back up in new and wonderful ways!

by Sherrie Darnell, LLC, NCC

Sherrie Darnell is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLP) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Sherrie’s view of counseling is that it works best as a collaborative effort. She believes each person and situation is unique, and she works to facilitate her clients’ self-exploration to help them uncover the solutions that work for them and their unique strengths. She uses supported strategies and theories, combined with empathy and non-judgmental acceptance, to help you achieve your goals.

I picked up a new sport recently: pickleball. It’s fun. As I’ve been playing, though, I’ve noticed some interesting feelings. My opponent celebrates a winning volley with vigorous claps on her paddle and I feel a tinge of something…irritation? My partner shoots me a determined look as we start a game and urges, “We got this!” and I feel a hint of something…annoyance? At these times I may sense my chest tightening and my mind thinking things like, “Come on, we’re just playing for fun, right? It’s not the pickleball Olympics. Why do you have to be so...competitive?”
 
Well, guess who’s competitive? I am! But since I’m not comfortable with that aspect of myself, I don’t own it. My psyche deals with this dilemma by defaulting to one of the “defense mechanisms” identified by Freud: projection. My subconscious projects my annoyance and judgment onto anyone but me. Hence, I spot it, I got it. Ouch.
 
If you’re feeling courageous, consider how this phenomenon might show up in your life. Are there traits in others that you find particularly aggravating? That you judge harshly? That you react to viscerally? Can you bravely, but gently and with abundant grace, allow yourself to wonder if you have those very same traits? Do you spot it because you got it?
 
Similarly, there may be someone in your life with whom you feel constantly at odds. Oil and water. Your one kid you butt heads with so often. The co-worker you can’t stop complaining about. The other mom at whom you flash a fake smile because inside you just feel irritated. Projection can be present in these places, and it can be painful to probe. Has anyone ever told you that you are actually a lot like someone you have difficulty tolerating? Ouch.
 
Of course, projection isn’t the only dynamic that can be at play when we are annoyed by someone or have interpersonal conflict. But it’s a common one. As we dare to notice and confront it, to shepherd it out of our subconscious and into the light – maybe with the support of a friend or in therapy – we can experience personal growth and freedom. We can go ahead and admit, “I spot it because I got it” and move through our lives with more awareness, authenticity, and self-acceptance.

by Dave Papandrea, LLPC, NCC

Dave Papandrea is one of the newest members of the Trinity Family Counseling Center team. Dave’s personal counseling philosophy is that he is a traveler on YOUR journey.  He believes YOU are the expert of you, and that the power of change is already within you.  It is his goal to walk with you on your journey to wellness, allowing you to lead at your own pace, hoping to point out items in your blind spots along the way.

Returning a fire company to service following a difficult call takes many different forms throughout the fire service.  In some areas, it may mean clearing to go to the next emergency.  Other jurisdictions offer tailboard defusing in the form of, “...you good?”  This typically prompts the auto response, “Yeah I am good.  You good?”  Repeat said process, and we check the box of crews defusing before returning to service.  It has escaped me for years how firefighters can work tirelessly one minute with life hanging in the balance, and transition seamlessly back to the kitchen table to finish a lukewarm meal.  But after a deep dive into the subject, I have realized that this oddity is not without a cost.  A debt we often pay and share with the people we love the most.

Have you ever approached the firehouse for your shift, and before entering the bay you knew the prior crew had a good fire?  We are not part bloodhound, so what is happening?  Our bodies are becoming hyper alert or hypervigilant.  We are about to spend the next 24 hours in our uniform, in the station, never far from the apparatus, and with a heightened sense of readiness for whatever is toned out for us.  This hypervigilance is comparable to fight or flight, but knowing firefighters, we are all fight!  For the next 24 hours, the part of our brains that control fight or flight (the amygdala and hypothalamus) will remain out of neurochemical balance with peaks and spikes when critical calls tone out, only partially reducing before tones drop again for the next call.  Each call, regardless of whose company is responding, helps to thrust those levels of neurotransmitters in the brain (cortisol) further out of balance.  Our levels rise and fall but never quite return to baseline, and never return to where a “normal” brain functions.  So, what’s a firefighter to do?  The brain dislikes imbalance, so how do we restore balance while on duty?  

When I started the job there were a lot of common practices that we have removed from our culture. If we went back in time to visit the 1950’s firefighter, having a beer with dinner was commonplace.  As a young firefighter in the late ‘90s they were just removing the taps.  Alcohol still remains culturally significant in the fire service, and it is a part of every tradition and party from probation to promotion.  But there was pathology behind what seemed like a social club mentality.  Drugs and alcohol are threats to firefighters for obvious reasons, but a silent threat they play is the role of activator for the brain's pleasure pathway.  Remember, after activation of the amygdala and hypothalamus the brain experiences imbalanced levels of cortisol and is working hard to return to homeostasis or balance.  If there is no “dump,” then one way to level the playing field is increasing dopamine, or the happy sauce.  One way dopamine is released is consuming alcohol.  Alcohol is a way for the brain to maladaptively cope with the stress it was under.  But it isn’t the only way to cope, and firefighters are extremely resilient at solving problems.  Stacks of pornography collected in firehouse bathrooms for decades not because the fire service was a male dominated chauvinist club.  Sex and pornography also served as maladaptive coping strategies for releasing dopamine and restoring balance.

Also central to firehouse culture and lore is our ability to cook… and eat!  This coping strategy may be the most devastating of all.  How many firefighters began their career looking like a CrossFit athlete and ended their careers unable to pass the fitness exam that earned their spot in their department?  In that vein, we still experience a high rate of cardiovascular emergencies on scene.  We love cooking meals loaded in fats, salts, and sugar!  We crave ice cream! Overtime guys usually had to throw in extra for dessert, and each day there were snacks of cookies and brownies on the table.  Again, this was more brain based than sweet tooth based.  It served a function in our recovery, and thus earned a place at our cultural table.  This may add new and literal meaning to the phrase, “comfort food’ and “stress eating.”  Think about the times on duty or coming off when you find yourself famished or experiencing cravings.  Dopamine releases resulting from food and sex serve a very important primal role for survival.  But as our brains try to survive the trauma that accompanies the job of firefighter, we often struggle personally with addiction and dependency, and our loved ones and families are footing the bill right along with us.  

Just as important as reporting for duty mentally fit, is making sure we return home to our families in good mental condition!  Understanding that our agitation and difficulty relaxing upon our return to the home is a bi-product of our fight or flight status, and acknowledging there isn’t an off switch, is a step in the right direction.  Helping our families realize what is happening is also very helpful, but that is difficult if we haven’t done our own personal work and possess a healthy self-awareness.  Enter in the importance of defusing and debriefing our critical incidents.  When you see peer support approaching, don’t run and hide in closets or under the bed!  Isn’t that what we teach kids about fires?  Do your part.  If not for yourself, do it for your family that doesn’t understand your aggressiveness, but knows to keep some distance after you get home from a shift.  Firefighters are willing to put the time in at the gym with weights and cardio routines.  We love doing RIT drills, and we train for every possible obstacle when extracting victims.  But we rarely step foot in a counselor’s office, dare I ask if we even have a relationship with one should we enter dire straits.  We keep pushing through our RIT drills despite the evidence that suggests we are losing more firefighters to suicide then collapse.  We pride ourselves with readiness, yet we are frequently surprised and ill prepared when a mental health crisis arises.  It is time we are champions of our own mental health by engaging in debriefings, defusing, and individual counseling sessions.  It is time to change the culture making the aforementioned as normal as physical fitness.

Not every call requires defusing or debriefing from peer support services.  But a healthy awareness of what each difficult call (from which we proclaim our “good-ness”) is doing to our psyche is valuable.  Excluding the occasional stubbed toe emergency, we need to visualize stress inducing calls as a piece of straw that is handed to you at the end of every shift.  Some shifts you only have a single piece; other shifts may have 10 or 20 pieces of straw.  None of this seems like much, but you never actually put the straw away.  You carry it with you.  Compound the straw by the number of years you spend serving in your communities, and if you have ever driven across northern rural Michigan in late summer, you will see huge rounded hay bales that could crush a man under its weight.  Each bale is made up of individual straws.  That is what a career of critical incidents brings each firefighter.  It is a lot to carry around, and it can feel crushing at times.

When supporting our mental health, the mind-body connection is one of the best places to start. Someone could have all the coping skills in the world, but if they’re not also taking care of their body, they might be at risk for issues like anxiety, depression, and stress. It doesn’t have to be difficult—even small changes, like the one I’m going to teach you today, can make a big difference!
 
In the first blog in this series, I want to talk about your body’s biorhythm. Every person (plants and animals too!) has built in “body-clocks” that work to keep us in a state of balance. Geese migrating when the seasons change are due to the same body-clocks that tell us when to go to bed and when to wake up. In fact, this “circadian rhythm,” or the human daily sleeping and waking cycle, is one of the most important when it comes to mental health. We’ve all heard the advice that we should go to bed and wake up at the same time every day; but why does the timing matter?
 
When we sleep and wake at the same time every day, it gives our biorhythms a chance to do their jobs properly. When our body doesn’t need to spend precious energy resetting its clock every night, it can focus on sleeping deeply, improving other biorhythms (like digestion), and directing energy towards the next day! However, not letting your sleep biorhythm do its thing can lead to insomnia, daytime sleepiness, concentration issues, and even symptoms of depression and anxiety. Especially if you deal with any of those symptoms already, it’s so important to support your mental health by supporting your sleep cycles.
 
Of course, we won’t always be able to maximize our biorhythms—changing work schedules, family needs, and other aspects of life may take priority. And that’s okay! Even if you can’t go to bed and wake up at exactly the same time each night, doing it when you can is still beneficial. Even if you’re an hour or so off, you can still experience benefits you may not see if you were two or three hours off.
 
At the end of the day, our bodies have an incredible capacity for adapting to all sorts of schedules and situations. But if you’re looking to improve your mental and physical health, try using your natural body-clock to your advantage!