Who Am I, Really?

Self-Care

We all lead busy, hectic, time-pressured lives these days. Many of our clients admit to feeling as though they are dropping the ball in their marriage, with their kids, with family, and at work. There simply don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone who needs something from us.

This is especially true for those who identify caregiving as a primary function in their relationships. For these folks, it is critical to recognize and honor your personal limits, and know when to step back and exercise healthy self-care.

Recognizing the value of taking good care of yourself and learning how to set boundaries in your life are just a couple of the tasks of appropriate self-care. If the idea of taking good care of yourself seems foreign to you, a caring professional counselor can help you to become aware of—and honor—those needs.

Who Am I, Really?

11/15/2015

by Deb Toering, LPC, NCC, BCPCC

Deb Toering is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (BCPCC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with a wide range of client populations and presenting issues, Deb is also an engaging public speaker. She has spoken in front of various groups across a range of topics including marriage, bullying, ADHD/ADD, and teen leadership.

Who or what has defined you?

Was it that bully in 6th grade who told you that you were ugly, fat or stupid? Was it your dad, with so many struggles of his own, that his lack of attention and affection made you feel unlovable? Was it your mom, battling depression, who led you to believe your only hope for finding self-worth was in being a caretaker? Perhaps it was a serious illness that took a toll on your physical strength, leaving you feeling fragile and anxious. Maybe you have been abused physically, emotionally or sexually and for you, the message was that you are worthless and unworthy of being loved or that you were to be blamed.

These beliefs affect the way we live out our lives. Think about how different your life story could have been and—could be—if you embraced something different about yourself, perhaps the truth.

Who gave broken people and unfortunate experiences the power to define you? You did, although not knowingly. Would you, at this point in your story, have the courage to challenge those long-held beliefs about yourself? Trying to understand how you made sense of life in the past, perhaps as a young child may be painful, but well worth it. Understanding those people in your life who have hurt you is the beginning of the healing journey toward forgiveness, and adopting a true view of yourself.

What’s keeping you from rewriting the story of your life?