Working to Live or Living to Work? What is the Difference and Why Does it Matter?

Self-Care

We all lead busy, hectic, time-pressured lives these days. Many of our clients admit to feeling as though they are dropping the ball in their marriage, with their kids, with family, and at work. There simply don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone who needs something from us.

This is especially true for those who identify caregiving as a primary function in their relationships. For these folks, it is critical to recognize and honor your personal limits, and know when to step back and exercise healthy self-care.

Recognizing the value of taking good care of yourself and learning how to set boundaries in your life are just a couple of the tasks of appropriate self-care. If the idea of taking good care of yourself seems foreign to you, a caring professional counselor can help you to become aware of—and honor—those needs.

Working to Live or Living to Work? What is the Difference and Why Does it Matter?

2/27/2023

by Shelley Kruszewski, Counseling Intern

Shelley Kruszewski is the newest member of the Trinity Family Counseling Center team. She has completed all coursework required of her Master’s Degree in Counseling from Oakland University, and is scheduled to graduate in the Spring of 2023. Her work at Trinity is under the direct supervision of Tonya Ratliff, LPC, ACS. In addition to her individual case load at Trinity, Shelley also serves as a co-facilitator of the Walk With Me® Grief Support Group.

Healthy work engagement tends to bring satisfaction and purpose to one’s life. In fact, a working society admires those that put in the long hours and are seen as productive. However, when time spent on the job starts creeping into other areas of life, such as with relationships and health issues, it may be time to take a closer look at why one has become so absorbed with work.

Working to Live can be described as Work Engagement. These are people that find their work pleasurable, because there is meaning in the job. The job is part of who they are. These types of workers tend to have positive emotions at both work and home, which includes being happy, self-assured, and attentive.

Living to Work can be described as Workaholism. These are people that have compulsion to do so, because they feel they should always be working. The job is who they are. These types of workers tend to have negative emotions at both work and home, which includes being disappointed, irritable, and tense.

Decades of research data confirms that those who display signs of workaholism suffer negative long-term effects, including an actual reduction of productivity at work! There is also a strong correlation that personality traits, such as being a perfectionist or having compulsive behaviors, can play a role in even poorer outcomes.

Malissa A. Clark PhD, researcher and director of the Work and Family Experience Research Lab at the University of Georgia, describes a workaholic as having these traits:

Feeling compelled to work because of internal pressures
Having persistent thoughts about work when not working
Working beyond what is reasonably expected of the worker (as established by the requirements of the job or basic economic needs) despite the potential for negative consequences (e.g., marital issues)

Remember, a good work ethic is beneficial to a healthy mindset. However, if you gravitate towards more negative patterns, a counselor can help process your specific situation. Together, you can determine what impact your work life is having towards your total well-being, and focus on strategies for a renewed balance in life!