TRINITY FAMILY COUNSELING CENTER
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Self-Care

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We all lead busy, hectic, time-pressured lives these days. Many of our clients admit to feeling as though they are dropping the ball in their marriage, with their kids, with family, and at work. There simply don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone who needs something from us.
 
This is especially true for those who identify caregiving as a primary function in their relationships. For these folks, it is critical to recognize and honor your personal limits, and know when to step back and exercise healthy self-care. 
 
Recognizing the value of taking good care of yourself and learning how to set boundaries in your life are just a couple of the tasks of appropriate self-care. If the idea of taking good care of yourself seems foreign to you, a caring professional counselor can help you to become aware of—and honor—those needs.
Counseling Insights and Articles About Self-Care:
6 Steps For Building Resilience And Preventing PTSD In 2023, by Dave Papandrea
Finding Christmas Joy
, by Tonya Ratliff
Could A Mindfulness Practice Benefit YOU?, by Sherrie Darnell
Moms: Can Your Empty Nest Grow Full Again?, by Deb Toering
You Spot It, You Got It, by Sherrie Darnell
Is It Me?  Maladaptive Coping Strategies in the Fire Service, by Dave Papandrea
The Mind-Body Connection Series: How to Get the Most of Your Sleep, by Liza Hinchey
Looking Forward To 2021, by Deb Toering
Good Riddance 2020, by Kathy Cap
Why Everyone Can Benefit From A Mindfulness Practice​, by Liza Hinchey
Finding Encouragement In The Small Moments, by Wendy Warner
Your Brain Is Hardwired To Protect You, Not To Be Productive, by Liza Hinchey
In This Time Of Uncertainty..., by Kathy Cap
2020: A Year Of Gratitude And Intention, by Kathy Cap
Whether You Think You Can Or You Can't... You're Right, by Kathy Cap
Parenting, But It's Not What You Think I Mean,
 by Liza Hinchey
Is That Bully Still beating You Up?, 
by Deb Toering
An Empowering Approach To Internalized Beliefs, 
by Liza Hinchey
In The Season Of Giving, Let's Remember To Give To Ourselves, 
by Liza Hinchey
Mindfulness - Why It Works, by Liza Hinchey
Shame. The Silent Killer., by Deb Toering
How Do You Define YOU?, by Tonya Ratliff
Social Media Can Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health, by Deb Toering
The Need for a Little Quiet in Your Day, by Tonya Ratliff
Who Am I, Really?, by Deb Toering
Self-Care is Not Self-ish, by Tonya Ratliff

You Spot It, You Got It

7/30/2022

 
by Sherrie Darnell, LLC, NCC
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Sherrie Darnell is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLP) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Sherrie’s view of counseling is that it works best as a collaborative effort. She believes each person and situation is unique, and she works to facilitate her clients’ self-exploration to help them uncover the solutions that work for them and their unique strengths. She uses supported strategies and theories, combined with empathy and non-judgmental acceptance, to help you achieve your goals.
I picked up a new sport recently: pickleball. It’s fun. As I’ve been playing, though, I’ve noticed some interesting feelings. My opponent celebrates a winning volley with vigorous claps on her paddle and I feel a tinge of something…irritation? My partner shoots me a determined look as we start a game and urges, “We got this!” and I feel a hint of something…annoyance? At these times I may sense my chest tightening and my mind thinking things like, “Come on, we’re just playing for fun, right? It’s not the pickleball Olympics. Why do you have to be so...competitive?”
 
Well, guess who’s competitive? I am! But since I’m not comfortable with that aspect of myself, I don’t own it. My psyche deals with this dilemma by defaulting to one of the “defense mechanisms” identified by Freud: projection. My subconscious projects my annoyance and judgment onto anyone but me. Hence, I spot it, I got it. Ouch.
 
If you’re feeling courageous, consider how this phenomenon might show up in your life. Are there traits in others that you find particularly aggravating? That you judge harshly? That you react to viscerally? Can you bravely, but gently and with abundant grace, allow yourself to wonder if you have those very same traits? Do you spot it because you got it?
 
Similarly, there may be someone in your life with whom you feel constantly at odds. Oil and water. Your one kid you butt heads with so often. The co-worker you can’t stop complaining about. The other mom at whom you flash a fake smile because inside you just feel irritated. Projection can be present in these places, and it can be painful to probe. Has anyone ever told you that you are actually a lot like someone you have difficulty tolerating? Ouch.
 
Of course, projection isn’t the only dynamic that can be at play when we are annoyed by someone or have interpersonal conflict. But it’s a common one. As we dare to notice and confront it, to shepherd it out of our subconscious and into the light – maybe with the support of a friend or in therapy – we can experience personal growth and freedom. We can go ahead and admit, “I spot it because I got it” and move through our lives with more awareness, authenticity, and self-acceptance.


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Copyright © 2022 Trinity Family Counseling LLC
  • Home
  • Areas of Specialization
    • Christian Counseling
    • Emotional Management
    • Self-Care
    • Relationships and Marriage
    • Grief and Loss
    • Family Counseling
    • Divorce
    • Remarriage and Blended Families
    • Parenting Counseling
    • Children and Adolescents Counseling
    • ADHD Counseling
    • Groups
  • Our Counselors
    • Tonya Ratliff
    • Deb Toering
    • Wendy Warner
    • Liza Hinchey
    • Dave Papandrea
    • Sherrie Darnell
    • Shelley Kruszewski
  • The Intern Option
  • LLC Supervision
  • Fees