Pregnancy During A Pandemic

Emotional Management

Let’s face it—our emotions can get the better of any of us. Anxiety, depression, self-doubt, fear, worry, loneliness, low self-esteem, codependency, and anger are just a few of the emotional demons that rob us of our ability to experience joy, to be present in our day-to-day lives, and to engage with and love others to our fullest potential.

Each of the counselors at Trinity is experienced in helping clients identify and confront their emotional challenges through a wide range of therapeutic approaches. The first step toward change is always to develop an awareness of how your daily experiences trigger and perpetuate your negative thoughts about yourself or others, and then how those thoughts lead to your troubling emotional responses and—often times—inappropriate or unhealthy behaviors.

Pregnancy During A Pandemic

5/16/2021

by Kathy Cap, LLPC, NCC

Kathy Cap is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. She is a graduate of Oakland University with a Masters in Counseling and joins Trinity after a number of years in a solo practice. Kathy enjoys working with couples, and adults of all ages, including those older adults facing an array of life transitions related to health changes, loss, and caregiving.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine who is a new mom and it occurred to me that her experience, along with many women who gave birth in 2020, is unlike anything most of us moms have ever experienced.

The rollercoaster of emotions that she had to endure is unprecedented. She, of course, felt the normal excitement and concerns that come with praying for a healthy pregnancy, but she also experienced grief, loss, anger, and some self-pity. To become pregnant during the pandemic meant that she was not able to experience all of the small milestones with her husband by her side. That precious moment you hear the baby’s heartbeat or receive your first ultrasound was done alone, without her husband by her side. She wasn’t even sure if her husband would be allowed into the delivery room on the big day.

There were also all the social milestones she never got to experience, such as being surrounded by her family and friends at her baby shower, opening up all the adorable baby gifts, or having her friends and family fuss over her growing belly. Then, once the baby was born, she was at home, isolated because of a pandemic; fearful of what the baby might be exposed to out in the world. This isolation meant no mommy and me groups, strolls around the neighborhood, or visits with grandma and grandpa. What should have been a happy time became an anxiety ridden, sad, lonely experience.

All the uncertainty and lack of community created a loss that she has continued to struggle with. She experienced grief and loss, but also some guilt for feeling this uneasy when she had a beautiful baby girl at home. It’s easy for others to dismiss these feelings and put all the focus on the baby but it’s important to address them and understand that it’s normal and okay. If this is something that you also have experienced, know that you’re not alone. Sharing your loss with a professional counselor and talking through your emotions without guilt or judgment, can help you move forward and focus on all the future joys that motherhood will bring.