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Family Counseling

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Our problems with others rarely exist in isolation. Many times, we come to realize that the interaction within our family unit itself is what is not working well.  Maybe there are unresolved misunderstandings from the past? A lack of sufficient boundaries in family relationships? Or cycles of conflict that keep recurring? There are also generational differences and alliances that develop within a family that can result in hurt feelings and long-held resentments.

A competent family counselor can help family members begin to sort out and “own” their piece of responsibility for the family dysfunction. Our counselors at Trinity have experience working with families to assist them in identifying their cycles of dysfunction. We can offer an objective perspective about the overarching patterns of interaction at the center of the problems. While commitment to the process is a necessary feature of successful family counseling, often times simply gathering in the same room—at the same time—to talk about their challenges with an objective third party can in and of itself—be healing.
Counseling Insights and Articles About Family Counseling:
Family Challenges of Elder Caregiving, by Kathy Cap
Communication For Successful Relationships, Dave Papandrea
A Lapse In Relational Logic, by Sherrie Darnell
Transitions For Aging Parents, by Kathy Cap
Boomerang Kids, by Kathy Cap
Humble Listening = Productive Communication, by Wendy Warner
Acceptance Versus Comparison, by Wendy Warner
Not What, But How, by Cathy Kap
Can A Pandemic Bring About Positive Change?, by Wendy Warner
Try a New Approach with Family This Holiday Season, by Wendy Warner
Parents: What Are You Sowing And Reaping?, by Wendy Warner
Boundaries: Your Emotional Property Lines, by Tonya Ratliff
How Does Family Counseling Work?, by Tonya Ratliff
Family Of Origin: We Don't Get To Choose, by Tonya Ratliff
Gratitude Transforms The Thanksgiving Table, by Deb Toering
Conflict Is So Hard At Times!, by Wendy Warner
Please Listen To Me, Don't Dismiss Me, by Wendy Warner
Spring Cleaning, by Tonya Ratliff
Family Holidays: Havoc Or Harmony?, by Wendy Warner

Boomerang Kids

8/3/2021

 
by Kathy Cap, LLPC, NCC
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Kathy Cap is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. She is a graduate of Oakland University with a Masters in Counseling and joins Trinity after a number of years in a solo practice. Kathy enjoys working with couples, and adults of all ages, including those older adults facing an array of life transitions related to health changes, loss, and caregiving.

Having your adult child move back home because of a life transition is very common. It’s so common in fact, that there is a term for it, “Boomerang Kids”. Boomerang kids are adult children who move back to live with their parents after a period of independence. While this new living arrangement could be helpful, it is important to sit down and hash out what both parties’ expectations will be. Remember that this is not your young son or daughter moving back but — an adult. It’s important to respect each other’s thoughts and opinions, but ultimately you are the head of the household.
 
In order to avoid future conflict, here are three things to consider with your adult son / daughter:


1.  Establish a Timeline
While this can be flexible, it is important to get an idea of how long they plan on staying, is it until they find a job or save up a certain amount money? Whatever the goal may be, it’s important to be clear. Of course, things can change but without setting a timeline there might be no motivation to leave.

2.  Establish Ground Rules
Being clear on what is expected at home can make the difference between living in peace or in constant conflict. It’s important that your adult child understands that you are no longer responsible for all their needs. They are more than capable of washing their clothes, making a meal and cleaning up after themselves. Remember, that is not your job.
 
3.  Pitching In
Once your adult child begins working, are they expected to pay some rent? And maybe pitch in with the groceries? Having them help in small ways financially not only helps you, but it also helps them become responsible with their money.

Having your adult child move back home isn’t necessarily a bad thing but — communication is key. Checking in with each other to see what is — or is not — working is very important. Mutual respect and an understanding of what is expected from everyone involved can go a long way in managing, and ultimately strengthening, your relationship with your adult son or daughter.

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  • Home
  • Areas of Specialization
    • Christian Counseling
    • Emotional Management
    • Self-Care
    • Relationships and Marriage
    • Grief and Loss
    • Family Counseling
    • Divorce
    • Remarriage and Blended Families
    • Parenting Counseling
    • Children and Adolescents Counseling
    • ADHD Counseling
    • Groups
  • Our Counselors
    • Tonya Ratliff
    • Deb Toering
    • Wendy Warner
    • Liza Hinchey
    • Dave Papandrea
    • Sherrie Darnell
    • Shelley Kruszewski
  • The Intern Option
  • LLC Supervision
  • Fees