Parenting Counseling

Parenting

There are a lot of forces working against us as parents today. There is peer influence, poor examples of family life in the homes of our kids’ friends, movies, television, video games, social media, the internet, advertising, and the instant gratification that comes from the ability to communicate with anyone at any time via texting. The decline in the moral fiber of our society further encourages our kids to be self-centered, self-indulgent, and focused on what they can get or take from others, rather than what they can offer or give to others.

The truth is - BEING A PARENT IS HARD WORK. And being a good parent is A LOT of hard work. Effective parenting requires placing the needs of others before your own, unwavering commitment, perseverance, and teamwork—which, often times, is NOT a given between the parents. Our parenting efforts often go unacknowledged and unappreciated, and much of the time, can feel like an absolutely thankless job.

You know your child best. But resistance and animosity from your child can cloud your objectivity, and limit your ability to sort out the appropriate course of action as a parent. Perspective and guidance from an experienced counselor can go a long way toward improving those skills we all thought would come naturally when we were blessed with a child in our lives.

Changing Your Parenting Blueprint

8/16/2022

by Kathy Cap, LLC, NCC

Kathy Cap is a Limited Licensed Counselor (LLC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. She is a graduate of Oakland University with a Masters in Counseling and joins Trinity after a number of years in a solo practice. Kathy enjoys working with couples, and adults of all ages, including those older adults facing an array of life transitions related to health changes, loss, and caregiving.

There you are, looking down at your sweet little baby, counting their tiny fingers and toes. Wrapped up in that tiny bundle are all of your hopes and dreams for their bright and happy future. You make a promise to love them unconditionally and protect them from harm. You have every intention of being the most loving, kind, and patient parent. However, even the most well-intentioned person can find themselves struggling.

Let's face it, not everyone is emotionally prepared for parenthood, and our past traumas can quickly sneak into our daily interactions with our children. Maybe you were raised by parents who were very critical, easily angered, or not respectful of your feelings. You might have lived in a home where you were constantly compared to others, or the withholding of love and affection was a form of punishment. Your parents could have been very overprotective, anxious, or negative thinkers. These behaviors can have long-term effects, and can be unintentionally passed down to your kids.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You are not destined to become your parents. Seeking therapy can help you learn from your own past and break the negative cycle before it’s too late. Therapy is a great space to share your frustrations—and, trust me—there will be many, and to manage your expectations. It’s a place to process your own emotions, fears, and hang-ups so they don’t become your children’s experiences as well.

Good and consistent parenting can be difficult. However, understanding your own triggers, learning how to set healthy boundaries, and how to communicate effectively can change the trajectory of the parent /child relationship and help them become well-adjusted adults.

It’s never too early to do this work. Just as premarital counseling helps you to understand your future partner better, pre-parental counseling can help you better understand your views on parenting and question the blueprint that has been passed down to you. Doing this work now will create a home environment where your children will feel safe, seen, and loved.

Children are a blessing. The assistance of a caring professional counselor with experience in parenting can go a long way in assuring that your child(ren) experience the very best version of who you are.