Encourage A Child Today

Children and Adolescents

Kids today have got A LOT going on. The challenges they face are often preoccupying and overwhelming--on a daily basis. Not knowing where to turn or who to talk to, they sometimes make less than ideal choices for themselves. These choices can lead to anxiety, depression, anger, loneliness, and thoughts of self-harm, and can be accompanied by feelings of not being good enough, or of believing they are a disappointment to their parents, teachers, friends, and even to themselves.

These kids can either shut down and push us away, or they begin to act out in ways that reveal their limited ability to cope with their stressors. Providing a troubled child or teen the opportunity for discussion with a caring professional counselor can often be a turning point for one who is feeling confused or hopeless.

As parents, we want to believe that we can help with all their problems. By the time you consider seeking the help of a professional counselor, the situation can feel like it is out of control for both your child - and you. The counselors at Trinity understand this fact, and are experienced in managing the many facets of this circumstance, as we provide a safe and supportive place in which to unravel what is going on in the life of your child.

Encourage A Child Today

9/20/2021

by Wendy Warner, LPC, NCC

Wendy Warner is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with couples, children, and individuals, Wendy also enjoys teaching the premarital classes for all couples planning to marry at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Macomb.

I want you to think about your childhood.

What was it like as a child, as an adolescent or a teen? What did you yearn for more of from your parent or parents, family members or caregiver? Did you want more time with those you loved or did you wish for more help with school or navigating relationships? Did you wish you could talk through issues more or that there was less yelling and harsh words surrounding conflicts? Did it feel like your parents knew about your world, cared about it, supported you?

So many adults I work with as a counselor have had childhoods that reflect neglect, abuse, addiction in the home, or an atmosphere high on conflict and low on love. Through no fault of their own, they were given the message that they were unimportant or a burden. They lived with fear, loneliness, sadness, uncertainty and anger. That environment shapes what a person believes to be true about themselves and others. If you are raised with parents who break promises, you learn to not trust people. If you are raised by caregivers who say you won’t amount to anything, you might just live up to the expectation set for you.

If you are now a parent, a grandparent, an uncle or even a neighbor of a child, you have an opportunity. You can be the voice that affirms them. You can be the person who is interested in their day, their efforts and encourages them to shoot high. Research has shown it takes five positive encounters to offset one negative comment. Most kids are on the receiving end of criticism from family, peers, themselves. What if you were the person that observed and called out the good in them? What if you were thought of as the person who is kind and gentle to them? So many adults tell kids and teens what they should do. Deeper connections are typically made when questions are asked to discover their interests, their concerns, their victories, even just from this week.

The bottom line is that childhood is rough at times for most of us. Some kids however are really struggling. Struggling to feel worthy of love, to feel safe, to be seen. If there is one strong connection pouring into that child, it can make all the difference in how they view themselves and others in future relationships.