Connecting the Dots After an ADHD Diagnosis

by Deb Toering, LPC, BCPCC, ADHD-CCSP

Deb Toering is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (BCPCC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with a wide range of client populations and presenting issues, Deb is also an engaging public speaker. She has spoken in front of various groups across a range of topics including marriage, bullying, ADHD/ADD, and teen leadership.

Many adults are diagnosed with ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, later in life; often at the time of their child’s diagnosis. As a parent learns about their child’s ADHD, they begin to see similar symptoms within themselves.   With the diagnosis can come a sense of relief; a way of understanding themselves and a way of explaining the nagging sense of underachievement they have carried throughout their lives.
 
As a child, you may have been told that you were smart but just needed to try harder.
 
Little did your teachers and your parents know that if you could have tried harder, you would have. Who wants to fail or disappoint their parents or teachers? The truth is you were doing your best.
 
As a child you may have been yelled at for always having a messy room or not following through with what you parents asked of you. The ADHD brain struggles with organization and can be forgetful. You may have never heard your parents’ requests because you were so hyper focused on your favorite TV show. You are now beginning to see that your gift of hyperfocus can work to your advantage when you are engaged with something you love to do!
 
You may have struggled socially. You were known as the one who talked too much, too loud and at the wrong times. Impulsivity, as you discover now, can be so much a part of the ADHD brain.
 
College was such a struggle as you never learned the organizational skills necessary for success. There was little motivation for those subjects that were boring to you. What a relief to find out that you are not stupid or lazy, but just lacking the ability to focus, plan and look ahead so that those research papers got turned in on time.
 
As an adult there has been a sense of frustration in not being able to get done as much as others. You may be drowning in the clutter of your home, unable to come up for air.
 
The truth that hopefully rises to the surface and drowns out the lies of ADHD, is that you are an intelligent, gifted and capable person who lacked the focus and motivation needed to produce the grades or promotions that should have happened.
 
The good news is that no matter how old you are when you receive a diagnosis, you can get the help you need. Medication has been a life changer for many. Coaching and ADHD Counseling help fill in those gaps that were missed along the way and can bring about the necessary changes that will allow you to become all you were meant to be.

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