Where Do You Turn When It Hurts?

by Wendy Warner, LPC, NCC

Wendy Warner is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with couples, children, and individuals, Wendy also enjoys teaching the premarital classes for all couples planning to marry at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Macomb.

Relationships hurt sometimes. For many of us this can be a very isolating experience.  When we are feeling disconnected from a spouse, a child, or a friend, there may not be too many people to share the pain with. May I suggest a few places to turn when you are hurting in a relationship?

The first place that I would suggest you turn is to God.  In 1 Peter 5:7 the Bible directs us with, “Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.” This verse offers peace and encouragement that God cares about our troubles. In James 1:5 He offers the promise of wisdom to all those who ask for it.

Next, I would send you to the other person with whom you wish to have a better relationship. Although it can be difficult, a genuine attempt to understand their point of view can be a good start to the conversation. It is also productive to examine ourselves, and to genuinely try to see what we are contributing to the situation. Humility and owning our part in the conflict can go a long way.

Finally, I would encourage you to seek the help of a relationship counselor. They are trained to listen to your distress and process it with you objectively. Counselors are often the last resort; however they are more helpful if sought sooner rather than later to restore the relationship.