Commitment to Change

by Tonya Ratliff, LPC, NCC, ACS

Tonya Ratliff is the Owner and Director of Counseling Services for Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to her individual, couple, and family clients, Tonya is also the lead facilitator of the Walk With Me® Grief Support Group, an aftercare program sponsored by Wm. Sullivan and Son Funeral Home in Utica, MI.

How do I know that I am ready to enter into counseling? How do I know that counseling will help me? What makes for a successful outcome to the counseling process?

These are just a few of the questions that are often asked by potential clients. My answer is that the desire and willingness to enact change are the strongest indicators of a successful counseling experience. We often interpret the pain or injustice we feel as the result of someone else’s words or actions. It is much easier to place the blame on others, than to look at ourselves.

Question: How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Just one; but that lightbulb really has to want to change!

One of the most challenging tasks we face in life is to recognize our own misdeeds and weaknesses. Taking a hard look at ourselves and ‘owning’ responsibility for the change we want is scary. The ability to see our role in a conflict, our participation in a destructive pattern of behavior, our lack of impulse control, or our reluctance to make our boundaries known are just a few of the many ways in which we must challenge ourselves.

A skilled counselor will be able to gently guide you toward these insights and support your ability to identify what you need to do differently; how you need to change. Then—and only then—can the real work begin to truly heal and choose a different path for your future.