Sometime between 1902 and 1908, likely while living in Paris, Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote the following lines:
Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final
The idea of letting ourselves feel painful emotions is easier said than done; often, our instincts are to push them away to protect ourselves. But we’ve collectively progressed to the point where we all know that this either makes them resurface in worse and more damaging ways, and/or numbs us to all of our feelings. So, the only way out that’s left is through. To let everything happen to you.
Being here and being human means feeling everything, forever. We get all the colors and all the shades of every emotion. We get to feel absolutely ripped apart, and we get to vibrate with excitement and joy (thanks, human experience). Some emotions are easy to feel, and some are really, really hard. When you’re in the midst of the latter, it can help to remember a few things.
Trust that no feeling is final. There is an abundance of emotions in your future. Sometimes they’re beautiful and sometimes they’re terrible, but none of them last and all of them move through us. Sometimes we want to hold on to painful emotions, if they’re part of the pain of grief, because they connect us to our loved one. But even that feeling of wanting to feel the pain will change. Let yourself want to grieve and be in pain if you need to.
Then, remember that this whole human experience is shared — you’re so far from alone, because feeling everything is inextricably woven into what it means to exist here. This doesn’t make the painful stuff go away. Just puts it into context. Lean on your people, and even if it feels like a painful reality couldn’t possibly ever change… just keep going.
Holiday
Liza Hinchey
September 30, 2025
