Deb Toering is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (BCPCC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with a wide range of client populations and presenting issues, Deb is also an engaging public speaker. She has spoken in front of various groups across a range of topics including marriage, bullying, ADHD/ADD, and teen leadership.
Some words we speak bring life to others: they encourage, motivate, express love, affirm and convey confidence. Other words seem to suck life out of us: they discourage, cause us to feel misunderstood, unloved, devalued, or full of self-doubt.
We long to hear words that bring life into our souls: “great job!”, “you’re the best!”, “I love you”, “I’m here for you”, “Thank you!” Words can keep us going full speed ahead or paralyze us.
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). Our reckless words cut into the heart and soul of another; they not only cause great pain but leave a gaping wound that screams to be soothed, filled, and healed. We try to ease the pain with things that can never satisfy or truly heal.
I often hear people recall the hurtful words spoken to them—perhaps years (or maybe decades) ago—but the memory still feels like a sword through the heart that nothing seems to soothe. Sometimes the words are so debilitating that it seems the only way to deal with them is to shove them below the surface. Those words can then rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune times. The words from the past can continue to paralyze us.
Oh to be wise and slow to speak—especially when we’re angry. May our words bring life and healing to all we come in contact with!