The Thieves Who Silence Us

by Deb Toering, LPC, NCC, BCPCC

Deb Toering is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (BCPCC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with a wide range of client populations and presenting issues, Deb is also an engaging public speaker. She has spoken in front of various groups across a range of topics including marriage, bullying, ADHD/ADD, and teen leadership.

God has given us a voice to express our thoughts, opinions and feelings. For some of us, people or events in our lives have led us to believe that we must remain silent; that we have no right to our own opinions or feelings; that we are unworthy of being heard and incapable of making our own decisions.

This silencing can cause confusion, self-doubt, depression and an inability to function as a confident, capable adult. Who are these thieves? They may be parents or other family members. Perhaps a classmate from the past, a boss, or an abuser has silenced you. Fear or a desire to please could lead us to give another this power.

How do we regain our voice, even after years of silence and confusion?  By beginning to gain clarity on what has happened, by talking about it, perhaps with a professional counselor. The beginning of healing is understanding that no person or circumstance can have power over us unless we allow it.

The path to freedom begins with understanding the truth about ourselves and the person or circumstance that seemingly stole our voice.  The next steps involve the intentional use of our voice. Perhaps even confronting the thief and explaining that what happened was hurtful and that you are putting an end to this unhealthy dynamic. The more you practice using your voice, by making decisions and expressing your thoughts, the more natural it will become and the freer you will feel.