Self-Care is not Self-ish

by Tonya Ratliff, LPC, NCC, ACS

Tonya Ratliff is the Owner and Director of Counseling Services for Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to her individual, couple, and family clients, Tonya is also the lead facilitator of the Walk With Me® Grief Support Group, an aftercare program sponsored by Wm. Sullivan and Son Funeral Home in Utica, MI.

No one can argue that we are living our lives on hyper-speed in the 21st century. We are simply trying to keep too many plates spinning at one time. In my counseling practice I am often helping someone recognize that they are on overload physically, emotionally or mentally. As we discuss all that they have going on — work, commuting, home responsibilities, family relationships, parenting, keeping up with technology demands, and social interactions — I typically implore them to rein it in, prioritize, and recognize the need for regular effort toward self-care.

As we discuss things that they can do for themselves the response I get most often is, “…but that sounds so selfish.” Taking good care of ourselves — in order to have the best of ourselves to give to others — is NOT selfish. The simple truth is that if we view all that we have to give as the inventory of our warehouse, we must also recognize the necessity of closing the warehouse doors to re-stock the inventory in order to re-open for business!

This re-stocking is — in very real terms — self-care.

Take just a moment to reflect on how you think about self-care, and consider whether your own shelves could benefit from replenishing.