Patience: A Way Of Thinking, Not Being

by James Casolari, Counseling Intern

James Casolari is the newest member of the Trinity Family Counseling Center team. James has completed all coursework required for his Master’s Degree in Counseling from Wayne State University, and is scheduled to graduate in August 2020. His work at Trinity is under the direct supervision of Tonya Ratliff, LPC, NCC, ACS.

Many people throughout my life have remarked that I possess a lot of patience.

I grew up in a family of eight. As one might imagine with a family that size—you have to wait for everything. I first credited my patience with this routine experience of the need to wait. As I thought about it further, I learned that although this gave me the opportunity to practice my patience; there were other factors involved.
 
Patience is not a trait that you either have or you don’t. It is a mindset that can be a constant struggle between your wants, desires, and expectations. To be patient you need to be aware of all these factors and the emotions they provoke. Patience is being able to look at yourself internally, and identify what is causing you to feel impatient. Once you identify the internal reasons for your impatience, you can address them by rationalizing with the want or desire and adjusting your expectations.
 
I realized that I had been able to adjust my expectations so that I was expecting to wait anytime I went somewhere with my family. I also learned to look internally. As an example, when at a restaurant, I was able to realize that I was feeling impatient because I wanted food. Once I identified that need, I could rationalize the need to wait.
 
Looking at the thoughts that fuel your feelings can go a long way in improving your understanding of how you function in the world.