Maybe Tonight Dear, Because I Love You

​by Wendy Warner, LPC, NCC

Wendy Warner is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with couples, children, and individuals, Wendy also enjoys teaching the premarital classes for all couples planning to marry at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Macomb.

One of the greatest gifts to marriage can become its biggest challenge if couples aren’t careful. I am talking about sexual intimacy. Generally speaking, men have a stronger drive for sex than women, and it can get out of balance pretty quickly especially after children are born.
 
Most women are busy with work, children and running a household. By nightfall they are dreaming of rest. Most men are busy with work, kids and household chores and are dreaming of a romantic encounter at day’s end. How to navigate the difference in expectations without it becoming a wedge in the relationship?
 
For men who are frustrated that sex isn’t on their wife’s radar, take an honest look at your relationship. Great sex is not going to happen if two people are emotionally disconnected most of the time. Many women would love more romance in their marriage, but first they would like some help with the kids and someone interested in how their day went.
 
When intimacy sounds like one more demand placed on them, it’s important for women to remember that sexual intimacy is like oxygen for men.  It is a primary way to connect emotionally to their wife, and regular rejection communicates wholesale rejection of them as a man. Women pour out extra effort when hosting friends, are they willing to pour out that extra effort to convey love and acceptance of their guy?
 
When we desire to put each other’s needs first in the relationship, sexual intimacy will thrive.