“Just Try Harder”

by Deb Toering, LPC, NCC, BCPCC

Deb Toering is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor (BCPCC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to working with a wide range of client populations and presenting issues, Deb is also an engaging public speaker. She has spoken in front of various groups across a range of topics including marriage, bullying, ADHD/ADD, and teen leadership.

Is this something you remember hearing as a kid? Or maybe it was, “Why can’t you be more organized like your sister?” “Pay attention” is probably another one you may have heard. You may remember feeling “not good enough.” A voice inside says you should be doing more. You should BE more. The majority of the time you just feel overwhelmed with all there is to do and you can never get on top of it. Trying harder never helps.

Those who have some form of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD) often identify with these memories. They may also struggle with making careless mistakes, sustaining attention for things that do not hold their interest and finishing projects. Forgetfulness, distraction and procrastination are problems that affect not only the individual but their work, family and other relationships. Some live with a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for not living up to their full potential. They often believe some of the things they heard in the past from parents and teachers about being lazy or not trying hard enough. The guilt and shame often lead to depression.

Many people struggle with some of the above on occasion, but if you find these things to be problems on a regular basis, and they are interfering with your work, relationships, or how you feel about yourself, I strongly encourage you to talk with a professional who understands. Don’t continue to struggle when there is help. You were designed for something more!