How Does Family Counseling Work?

by Tonya Ratliff, LPC, NCC, ACS

Tonya Ratliff is the Owner and Director of Counseling Services for Trinity Family Counseling Center. In addition to her individual, couple, and family clients, Tonya is also the lead facilitator of the Walk With Me® Grief Support Group, an aftercare program sponsored by Wm. Sullivan and Son Funeral Home in Utica, MI.

All families struggle.

A child struggles with school and socializing with friends…
 
A parent struggles with keeping pressures at work from affecting their mood at home…
 
A teen struggles with social issues and may be experiencing anxiety or depression…
 
A family member struggles with substance abuse…
 
A family suffers the death of a loved one…
 
A family member suffers from a mental health diagnosis…
 
The ‘busy-ness’ of everyone’s schedules leaves family members feeling isolated and disconnected. And, the constant preoccupation with technology and social media has further eroded what was once time spent together and engaged in each other’s lives…
 
The list of challenges that today’s families face is endless, and the dysfunction and upset that they suffer as a result are real and often lasting.
 
You may wonder at some time in the history of your family—either the one you are raising, or the one you grew up in—if the challenges that you all struggle with could be helped with family counseling? But you also may not have any idea what that would look like, or if it would work?
 
For those of us in the counseling profession, family counseling is often the preferred approach to a multitude of presenting issues. Yet, the more typical circumstance is that the family will identify the ‘problem person,’ and then give everyone else in the family a ‘pass.’ The problem person is then brought into our office with a request for help. 
 
However, the truth of the matter is that no challenge affecting an entire family is one person’s fault. Far from it, every member of the family system plays some role in the dynamic that perpetuates the problem(s).
 
The role of the family counselor can offer the family a remarkable opportunity to navigate their differences in an entirely new manner than they likely have experienced before. Some important features of the family counseling setting include:

• A safe atmosphere for discussion

• The opportunity for EVERY family member to express their feelings and opinions about the issue
• Immediate feedback from an objective third party to mediate escalating tensions and emotions                         
• Dedicated time for the entire family to truly ‘hear’ and engage with each other
• Education about how the family system works… or is not working                                                                    
• Opportunity to recognize alliances within the family that may be perpetuating the problem
• Encouragement for each family member to take responsibility for their role in the problem
• Guidance for collective problem-solving
• Ongoing accountability to ensure lasting change within the family

There is no doubt, it IS a tall order to bring an entire family into counseling! The sheer logistics of finding a day and a time when everyone is available can be the biggest challenge. However, a collective belief that the family is worth the investment to improve relationships and enhance daily interactions can be the first step to healing long-standing wounds and misunderstandings with the people you love the very most in the world. You might even discover that you can actually enjoy each other in ways you never imagined before! 
 
 Is your family worth it?

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