by Liza Hinchey, LPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

As we approach a full year of living in this uncertain new reality, I want to talk about anxiety.

​Anxiety always exists for a reason. Notice I didn’t say a good reason, but a reason, nonetheless. On a very basic level, anxiety exists to protect us and to keep us alive. It only becomes an issue because keeping us alive is often not synonymous with keeping us happy or satisfied.
 
Some of the most common symptoms of anxiety, like excessive worrying or a racing heart rate, happen because your brain and body are trying to prepare you to face some sort of threat. The threat may be unknown or hypothetical, but the anxiety part of our brain isn’t really able to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s hypothetical. It gets you ready to panic / run / problem-solve either way.
 
Understanding the “why” of your anxiety can help you process it and improves the chances that it will resolve itself faster. So, the next time you feel anxious, try to think or journal about what it is your anxiety is trying to protect you from. Maybe even approach it as if you were a scientist, observing an interesting natural phenomenon.  Is the anxiety trying to protect you from future pain? From embarrassment? From losing your sense of safety or self? Be curious and see what you learn! This is often one of the first steps towards long-term, lasting change in how we experience anxiety—and in how we find peace.

​by Liza Hinchey, LPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

When my clients are looking to improve their overall happiness and well-being, one of the first things I suggest is starting a mindfulness practice. As one of the simplest and most broadly effective strategies there is, implementing mindfulness almost always leads to improvements. Of course, it’s not a magic solution to all of our problems, but research has shown that it can broadly improve our well-being.
 
Defined as a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment, mindfulness can help us regulate our emotions, cope with difficult experiences, improve our focus, communicate more effectively, and be more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Studies have also shown that when someone is thinking about something other than the current moment, they report feeling less happy than if they were focused on the present. This is true even if the thoughts they were thinking were pleasant or happy! [1]
 
If you’d like to try out this valuable practice for yourself, there are so many ways to make it work for you. Yoga and meditation, both “formal” mindfulness practices, are highly effective if you’re into them. But the best part about mindfulness is that it can be practiced by anyone, anywhere, anytime. All you need to do is, for a moment, bring your attention to the present.

What do you see, feel, hear, smell, and taste? What does your breath feel like as it enters and leaves your body? What is it like to exist, to be you in your body, right now.

1. Killingsworth MA, Gilbert DT. A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science. 2010 Nov 12;330(6006):932. doi: 10.1126/science.1192439. PMID: 21071660.

​by Liza Hinchey, LLPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

2020 hasn’t exactly been a year of structure and stability.

​While the loss of these factors in our lives is difficult for everyone, it is perhaps even more of a struggle for children. In most cases, the foundations of their lives have been upended, which can lead to a lot of confusing emotions and few places to put them. If your child has been “acting out” more than usual lately, here is a simple strategy you can use to deescalate the situation and help them process their emotions.
 
The first and most important steps are to listen and validate what they are feeling. This helps your child feel heard and builds their emotional intelligence, so they are better equipped to respond to their emotions in the future. After asking about or interpreting the emotion your child is feeling, you could try some phrases like these to validate them:
 
“I can see that you feel *emotion* right now. Being *emotion* is okay.”
“What happened that made you *emotion*?”
“I would be *emotion* too if that happened to me.”
 
Once you’ve listened and validated, you will have created a much more productive space to then guide your child in the right direction behaviorally. You could follow up your validation by reminding your child that you love them, but you don’t like _____            behavior, and offering them some alternatives. This strategy will not only help reduce the behaviors you don’t want from your child, but more importantly, help them feel heard and supported.

by Liza Hinchey, LLPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

When your environment is uncertain, your brain shifts much of its energy into preparing you to quickly adapt to the next unpredictable situation you find yourself in. As the word “unpredictable” suggests, that is quite a challenging job. So, while your brain is busy trying its best to complete this task, you may experience a few side effects:
 

• Lack of focus – When stressed, the part of your brain that helps you focus and plan (the prefrontal cortex), can be partially shut down as other parts of your brain work harder in an effort to keep you prepared for potential danger.

 

• Feeling overly tired – Your brain burns energy much faster than usual when in a crisis.

 

• Feeling like you should take advantage of this time to be creative (e.g. paint, bake, learn), but feeling creatively blocked – In the “fight or flight” state, your brain diverts energy away from creativity and towards survival.

 

• Goals that were important to you don’t seem important right now – Your brain is focusing on the here and now, rather than on the future. It’s better from a survival standpoint (e.g. if you were in danger, you would need to focus on the immediate situation to survive).

 
None of these feelings or states of being are personal flaws or failures on your part. They are simply side effects of your brain trying to keep you alive and safe when it senses danger. Whatever you are feeling or not feeling, doing or not doing, is okay (and temporary).

​by Liza Hinchey, LLPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

In any therapeutic relationship, trust is one of the most important factors in supporting positive change. If you are interested in counseling services for a minor, as a parent or guardian, it is important to understand the conditions that help your child build trust with their counselor so that they can get the most out of their experience.
 
In a counseling setting, children and adolescents must feel that they have a safe place to explore their thoughts, emotions, and goals. With your understanding in advance, we shall keep what your child says or does confidential, within age appropriate limits. Depending on the age of the minor in therapy, the parent(s)/guardian(s) and the counselor will discuss what confidentiality will look like, prior to beginning treatment. For example, counseling a very young child will require the counselor and parents to communicate in much more detail about what happens during sessions than counseling a 16-year-old.
 
However, there are always going to be several exceptions to this confidentiality, regardless of the age of the minor. A counselor will share with the parent(s)/guardian(s) any information which is necessary for the safety of their child or adolescent, in addition to any information that is required by law, including if a client expresses that they plan to harm themselves or others, or if they report child or elder abuse. In these scenarios, counselors are required to break confidentiality, whether the client is a minor or an adult.
 
Aside from safety issues, if a counselor believes that it would be helpful to share additional details with the parent(s) /guardian(s), the counselor will usually discuss this with the child and initially encourage them to do so themselves. This would occur more often with older children and adolescents, as with young children the counselor may need to do more of the talking to parents themselves. Of course, if the child does not want to share with their parents but the counselor still believes it would be very helpful, the counselor may still choose to share information with the parent when appropriate.
 
Parent(s)/guardian(s) also always have the right to ask questions regarding general progress and the therapeutic process, and to offer feedback regarding their interactions with their child and their observations in various settings. In this way, counselors and parents work as a team. We as counselors greatly value your consultations with us and your involvement, as it helps us help your child more effectively. We will discuss with you during our initial meeting how you can participate effectively in your child's specific treatment and progress outside of counseling.
 
Depending on the age of the child, it may also be appropriate to schedule additional meetings with the parent(s)/guardian(s) to discuss progress or address their questions or concerns. Parent(s)/guardian(s) can feel free to share information that they feel may be important for the counselor to know at any time, however due to time constraints, a counselor may not always be able to respond in a thorough manner. That does not mean that your communications are not valued, however, as the information you share is always helpful for us!

That said, if parent(s)/guardian(s) would like to have a more in-depth discussion with a counselor regarding their child, we also offer in-person meetings or phone consultations. Occasionally meeting with parents can be a very useful part of the “teamwork” aspect of a young child’s counseling and is always an available option.​

At Trinity Family Counseling Center, we are committed to helping our younger clients, and we are grateful for the trust that you put in us to do so while upholding confidentiality. Our counselors recognize that it can be difficult for parents to be unaware of all the details of their child’s counseling, so we also want to express our appreciation to you for taking this step for your child’s well-being. In return, we are committed to encouraging open communication between your child and you, and we will do everything in our power to help your child achieve their goals and improve their mental health.

​by Liza Hinchey, LLPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

While some of my younger clients are indeed comfortable sitting on my couch and talking for a full session, more often than not an environment that incorporates play into the therapeutic relationship is more productive and welcoming for young children.
 
For some, depending on their personality and developmental level, play is more of an “ice breaker,” or a non-threatening way to help them feel comfortable opening up to a therapist. They play with their guardians and their teachers, so this familiar activity can help them feel at ease. In these scenarios, we may actually be engaging in more traditional “talk therapy”—we just happen to be playing a game at the same time.
 
For other children, the play itself may be the main therapeutic focus. Children will often act out events and emotions that are occurring in reality in the parallel universe of play. The therapist can then communicate with them by participating in the game, guiding the child to work through feelings and struggles indirectly.
 
And for all children, play therapy allows them to express concepts or feelings that are difficult to put into words, gives them the undivided attention of an adult who isn’t a parent or teacher, and provides them with a safe, accepting space to be themselves. With these conditions, children can experience enormous growth, learning key emotional skills that they can one day carry with them into their adult lives.

​by Liza Hinchey, LLPC, NCC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

Whether you have relatively few complaints regarding your childhood, or some more serious concerns you’d like to work through, choosing to care for yourself by going to counseling can offer you the chance to adjust these long-term patterns of thought and behavior that have lingered from your formative years.
 
Because of this, it is often said that therapy gives you the opportunity to “re-parent” yourself. What we experience and learn as children inevitably shapes us as we grow, but if you aren’t happy with the results, you do have the power to change them. With many of my clients, I work on helping them rework unhelpful beliefs about themselves and behaviors that no longer serve them, to create new patterns that get them the life they want.
 
Thinking of this in terms of “re-parenting” often brings an increased sense of self-compassion to the counseling process. For example, imagine you could speak to the child version of you. How would you treat that child? I’m guessing you’d probably be supportive, encouraging, and loving. It can be quite illuminating to compare this imagined interaction with how we may be treating ourselves as adults.

Do you berate yourself when you make a mistake, make negative comments about yourself when you look in the mirror, feel you aren’t ‘good enough’?
 
If so, try becoming aware of these thoughts when they occur, and thinking about what you’d say if you were your own parent for a moment. How would what you say to yourself change?

by Liza Hinchey, LLPC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to change over the course of our lives, and is one of the most helpful concepts to grasp in order to understand how therapy works.
 
Imagine your current ways of thinking as paths in the woods. Whenever a certain belief about yourself or the world originated, that pathway was not yet worn in—but after years of “walking” that path, the ground became worn and easy to travel. Our brains create many paths like this throughout our lives, for better or worse. Sometimes the beliefs that created a path are rooted in self-compassion—but at other times they might involve self-doubt or self-hatred.
 
In these cases, we can take advantage of the brain’s ability to forge new pathways and create healthier ways of thinking. Starting a new path with a more helpful thought process isn’t always easy at first. It’s most likely covered in brambles, complicated by tree branches, and full of confusing twists and turns. 
 
But, the more you practice walking this new path, the more your footsteps will wear a clear trail through the woods. And by practicing walking on the new path, the old pathways (of self-hate, insecurity, shame, etc.) will start to fade as the brambles creep back and the forest swallows them up again. You might come across one of them again one day. You might even start to walk down it. But it will be weaker now, while your new pathways of self-love will be strong and clear.

by Liza Hinchey, LLPC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

We all go through our lives with a certain framework to our thoughts and feelings - a lens of underlying beliefs that, whether noticed or not, colors our every experience.

Sometimes these beliefs come from our family of origin, a spouse or partner, our successes, or our failures. And for many people seeking counseling and better methods to improve their well-being, some of these beliefs may no longer be serving them. Perhaps a person or situation left you with the internalized sense that you are inadequate, that you can’t do something, that you are undeserving in some way. Whether the origin of that belief is still present in your life or not, the good news is, that unhelpful belief is now yours.
 
And why would that be good news? Because it is internalized--you are the one with the power to change it! It no longer belongs to someone else’s words, or to the circumstances that left you with painful emotions. By becoming aware of and defining the underlying beliefs that are no longer serving you, you give yourself the power to change them.

With some dedication and faith in this new power of yours, “I am unworthy” can become “I am enough.” Fear of judgment can become peace of mind, and self-doubt can become an organic and naturally blossoming sense of self-confidence. Imagine what radically new and different colors you would see looking through that lens.

by Liza Hinchey, LLPC

Liza Hinchey is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor (LLPC) in private practice at Trinity Family Counseling Center. Liza completed dual Master’s degrees in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Art Therapy from Wayne State University, and works with individuals, families, and groups across a range of presenting issues.

It’s a wonderful feeling to give to others. For many of us though, it can be a challenge to extend that same generosity to ourselves. If you deal with feelings of guilt or unworthiness when taking time to care for yourself, perhaps feeling that your actions are at the expense of your workload or others’ desires, you are most certainly not alone.
 
During the holiday season, there can often be an increase in this type of stress due to the many tasks and expectations to balance. Maybe you are a student preparing for exams, or a parent balancing both your workload and your focus on making the holidays special for your children. Regardless of your situation, imagine how much work you could get done, how much you could help others, if you were coming from a place of full health and peace. 
 
A giver like this—who has learned to give not only to others, but to themselves as well—is an unstoppable force of nature.
 
To get started, I challenge you to give yourself just one small gift every day during this holiday season. This gift could be as simple as allowing yourself five minutes in the morning to really enjoy a hot drink, buying yourself a cookie, or just taking a few deep inhales and exhales the next time you feel overwhelmed. In these moments, try to recognize that you are actively cherishing yourself—and, most importantly, that you absolutely deserve to do so.